Little Kids and Sports
ByMy little boy, Elijah, is three-years-old. He loves to play sports, any and every sport. What he sees, he seeks to imitate. Then he sees something else and moves onto that. As a professional athlete, you can imagine I love having a son like that and can’t help but hope that it continues. Yet I have to discipline myself to do one simple, but very important thing, namely, keep things light and loose and free and fun.
Yes, I know this shouldn’t even have to be said, but the reality is, it does have to be said. For I have a tendency to want to teach him how to do things. And I know I am by no means alone. But the simple reality is that Elijah doesn’t care very much how to do things. He just wants to enjoy doing them. The only way I teach is to simply show him how to do things. Then let him imitate the best he can and more than anything else, enjoy. Just enjoy. Play. Have fun. Make up a game. And yes, oftentimes, win.
Again, this probably shouldn’t have to be said about a three-year-old, but in this day and age of kid’s sports, I believe it does have to be said–about him at his age, and also for kids 6 years older than him. Learning too much too soon can easily take the fun out of the game.
At this stage of life, there is nothing more important for Elijah to learn than the simple reality that sports are fun. Sadly, it’s a lesson that not enough kids are learning, because the environments they find themselves in are so structured that they are not fun. Or at least not as fun as they ought to be because they are not free. It’s not the playground. It’s team practice. And there is a big difference between the two.
I am sure I will say more on this front in days to come, but for now, I’d just like to plead with all the Dads out there to make sure their kids have plenty of opportunities to enjoy sports in a light and loose and free and fun environment. For interestingly enough, such an environment is essential not only to general well being, but long-term learning success.
Come to think of it, many a high school, college, or professional coach would do well to take heed to such words. For I know without a doubt that the team that is light and loose and free and fun is a dangerous one to play.
2 Comments
June 19th, 2009 at 12:06 am
We also try to be cognizant of making sports fun for our son– not only because of the reasons mentioned by you, but because we live in the same city, just one mile away, from where Kevin played college basketball. With this has come a lot of questioning and unintended (I pray!) pressure for The Boy to play basketball. Sadly it began before he was even born! Because of this, I work at stepping back and allowing him to participate in the activities he enjoys…and keeping those well-meaning fans from pressuring him in to basketball too quickly. The boy can pass hours kicking a soccer ball around the backyard, doing his “sit-ups” and “push-ups” because that is what Kevin does even when they are not perfect, and all around having a good time with athletics– all three of us!
July 18th, 2009 at 11:25 pm
Wow. I’m teaching my son who just turned 8 baseball now and you hit me right between the eyes. Thank you for this lesson. I’ll be sure to remember this next time we go out and I pitch to him. It’s hard when you see him struggling and you know why and you want to help.
My son has learned to throw a temper tantrum when he doesn’t do well. This may be my fault for letting him win all the time early on. He has never learned to be a good looser and has no patience with himself or others unless he is doing well enough to “show off”. I have talked to him and put him in time-out so many times but every time we go out with the intent on having fun, he starts whining about me not throwing the ball good enough or about him not being able to do something well. I will try to make it more light and loose for him and hopefully eventually relax and have fun.